This was the last Friday I'll ever be a Dulles student. I want to get out of this same monotonous cycle of getting up, going to school, do homework, sleep, then get up again. There is no freedom, no excitement, no fun. At the same time, I know I'll miss this. I'll miss seeing the same beautiful faces of my friends every day, discussing the same randomness, falling asleep in the same hard, cold chairs. I dread going to Calculus every single day this year, but I'm going to miss it to much. I'll miss the dry-erase markers, my seat C2, Mr. Lewis going slow motion for us. The sense of nostagia and longing applies for every class. I'll miss the grey walls, the mosaic pillars, the blue lockers, the musty smell in Mrs. Thomas' room and all the things I looked at every day and never cherished.

The one that explains everything
hm. so I haven't written in this in over 2 year. What's sad is that I've been flipping through other people's xanga's way too long for my own good.
Senior year is extremely overrated. I have no offs, no study halls, no nothing. I actually enjoy all my classes except for English (surprise surprise) but I have to take it. I really like Calculus. I don't think Calculus likes me, but I do like Calculus. It's like a hard puzzle that takes time and dedication to solve. And Mr. Lewis is a great teacher. Leadership- ahh.. we're doing Model UN like things in there. It's great. Ethiopia rocks my socks. Then I have Bio. Frankly I don't think Trinh likes me too much, but the subject is interesting. Don't drink alcohal because it's bacteria poop. Chem is fun. It's not that easy, but handle-able. I can't wait til our labs are actually with chemicals. I have English fifth. I guess English will always be my worth subject. Like even if I think I wrote a good essay; the teacher thinks its pure crap. I really don't know what to do. It's not my fault I wasn't blessed with the eloquent writing gene. I try to write with tone and descriptive diction, but it just never turns out right. English is my constant enemy. I'm bummed just like my smiley (it actually should be called an unsmiley b/c it's not smiling.) I cannot wait until we read novels. I hope we get to read Dicken's this year. I wish we could read for the sake of reading and not "let's analyze every word of the book." So, Psychology is sixth. Man, I love that class and Mr. Thornberg. He is the most entertaining man I have ever met. "Hi gray matter, hi white matter". Andy (Jones, who is also in my class) is like his foil. (haha) I don't know how much psychology I actually learned, but I look forward to that class everyday. Music History concludes my day. It's not as easy is I expected. We have listening quizzes where we have to identify melody, dynamics, rhythm, instruments, etc. It's really not fair to the non-music people who have not been to exposed to music like all the band people. I have no idea how they do listening quizzes at all. I did rediscover my love for classical music. So that's my day. What fun. Woot-Woot.
School including homework and study-times takes up about 85.8932341% of my life. The other however many percent is mostly comprised of me worrying my worried head off about the future. I haven't start on college essays; I haven't finished the PSAT essay. blah. I hate essays. English and Essays are killing me slowly. Then my mom has to constantly remind me how much the essay will count in the application process like I don't know already. I won't get into college. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. Heave.
Does any one else feel the pressure of other people besides me? Not like drugs, drinking, smoking pressures because it's not like I'm ever going to do those thingss, but I mean pressure to succeed or get into a good college or make all A's and such. I'm really glad that all my friends are extremely smart, but I also feel like there is always that underlying sense of competition amongst us. I mean I hope all my friends are blessed in all their endeavors, but I guess I want to make sure I am just as successful and happy. That's how I feel. Maybe it's just me.
And why is it that EVERY one wants to be a doctor now? Is it because you earn a lot of money or you become "respected"?  This just makes it harder for me to get into medical school and get into a good residency. Man. It's my dream to be a doctor. And it's not for the money. I guess I'll just have to work my butt off.
So I've pretty much finalized my college list. Rice-ED (along with a gazillion other people just from our school), UPenn, Baylor, Case Western, UT- Plan II or Engineering. Sigh. Let me get into Rice. please. with cherry on top.
I know this happened like over a month ago, but the Honors Colloquium was such a reality check for me. Every single person there were geniuses, and I felt literally like the stupidest one there. I'm not use to that feeling I guess. I don't think I'm psychologically ready for the real world, outside our little micro-society called high school. I'm glad that in college, I will be more intellectualyl stimulated, but I'm scared that I'll fail to meet the college's expectations. I'm so scared. Let me curl up in a ball in my room, please.

So Hurricane Katrina. Is the glass half empty or half full? For me, this is a chance for America to bind together again and to stop blaming things on other people (whether is be the president, different ethnic groups, whatever.) Yeah, it's tragic that people died and people have lost their homes and all their earthly possession. If we all give up a little of what we have, then the people who have lost things will be able to stand on their own feet again. If everyone give a dollar for the relief, think of what we can do. I do have to give kudo to people who are volunteering their time and donating their money already. They make me proud.

Long entry. It makes up for the last two years. harhar.